The Greatest Crossover Story Ever
by Julian McQueen
Summary: When Keiichi and the gang go on a picnic, they'll never expect what kind of hijinks they'll get into.    Based of a series of posts on Desuchan.


Once upon a time, there was a happy group of friends named Keiichi, Shion, Mion, Rika, Satoko, Rena, and Hanyuu. They liked playing games and having a great time together.

However, one day, something happened. Amakuza approached Hanyuu and snipped her, muttering. "Auu auu~, bitch." Then, he began to rape her with a sandwich.

The sandwich was traumatized by the horrendous events it was subjected to and made an accomplice of.

The sandwich returned to its native home in the northern regions of the Ukraine in a quest to seek repentance and redemption. After enduring 10 labors set forth from his father, Zeus, the sandwich was allowed passage into Lunch Valhalla, but Amakuza Didn't want the Sandwich to Leave so suddenly Amakuza sent crazy Rena to attack the sandwich with a clever. The Sandwich suddenly shot spider webs out of its wrists to silence the clever Rena and its power level became 8999.

Amakuza shouted censored profanities at the ridiculously overpowered sandwich before it used its power to throw him into the sun. Tomitake flashed his way onto the scene to take pictures of a now rather bonded Rena wriggling on the ground. When suddenly, Mion, Shion, Keiichi, Satoko, And Rika, Came to Rescue Rena but when they least expected it, Tanako appeared and began to rape Keiichi. However, it quickly became consensual.

Mion and Shion were shocked, but at the same time aroused so they decided to join in. However, the Scooby Doo gang appeared and revealed that the green haired twins were actually goatmen with masks. This did not stop the sex, however.

Rika Amazed but at the same time displeased started raping and killing the Scooby-Doo gang. At that time, Satoko was touching herself with the sandwich. But then Suddenly, Rena decided to eat the sandwich, lunging her way across the ground in an attempt to devour the hapless sandwich Rena found it difficult to aim herself when tied up, she then planted her face square between Satoko's legs in an attempt to snatch the sandwich away.

Meanwhile the two goatmen were enjoying the show, and then suddenly, Shion and Mion arrived to kill the goatmen.

Meanwhile, Rena managed to devour the sandwich with cum. Maria came shooting out of Satoko's pussy screaming, "You ate my sandwich ~uuu!" However, Black Witch Rosa and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter suddenly emerged out of Satoko's asshole, followed by Beato, who threw everyone into Purgetorio and began a battle between the Red and Blue truths. Meanwhile, Rika sat off to the side, eating Reeses for breakfast.

Ange awoke with a start in her bed. It had all been a nightmare. She assumed she was alone in her dark bedroom, but Billy Mays suddenly sat up next to her and yelled, "But wait, there's more!" Billy Mays then knocked her out with an auger to the head, and Ange entered the nightmare again. Then Rosa and Peanut Butter began raping Billy Mays, while he revealed that he injected Ange with the Hinamizawa syndrome. Ange screamed, "Wry?" and began to be raped by Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter and the Sandwich. Then, Beato appeared and said in ted:

"THE SANDWICH IS DEAD SO THAT MEANS THAT HE DIDN'T RAPE ANGE!

BATTLER IS MINE AND THE ONLY GIRL THAT HE WILL HAVE SEX IS ME THE GOLDEN WITCH BEATRICE!"

The Sandwich scoffed and began making a sandwich. It consisted mainly of the remains of the Scooby-Doo Gang. Kinzo saw what the sandwich was doing and he did not approve of the sandwich's action. He absolutely hated the sandwich for what it did to him in the past. He wanted the sandwich; But the Heavy appeared and quickly ate the sandwich. He then loudly proclaimed "SANDWICH MAKE ME STRONG. ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES!", and started to wind up his mini-gun, but Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter suddenly made the gun rape Heavy while Beato watched with great pleasure.

Heavy was so amazed that he left the golden land. Beato ran to Peanut Butter's arms and kissed him. But the incestuous Ange didn't tolerate that so incestuous Ange decided to kill Beato. But Battler Didn't Let her so he chopped off his 9 foot dick and started whipping her with it.

This caused ripples across the time-space continuum. In a matter of seconds after the aforementioned whipping, entire universes began to form and vanish within a matter of seconds. Worlds, civilizations, cultures, flourished and thrived, only existing between two nanoseconds at a time, before they were wiped out, and losing what to us would be eon's worth of art, literature, science, and culture. All gone quicker than the blink of an eye. These fluctuations of creation, evolution, and a return to nothingness began to cause permanent damage to the very universe and cosmos, so much so that it attracted the attention of being far more ancient, powerful, and terrible than any mere witch: The Pillsbury Dough Boy,

Battler then shouted to Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter at the top of his lungs, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?" The ground beneath them all split open, fire and AIDS shooting out as Mr. Delicious leaped out of the depths of Hell to confront this madness. "IT'S OOISHI TIME!" he shouted at Battler as he removed his belt.

"I like where this is going." Said Beatrice, licking her lips. Beatrice than lifted up her skirt to reveal the largest penis ever seen on earth, and yelled, "I get Battler first!" Battler then removed his pants to reveal that he had a vagina. He ran to have sex with Beato, but Ooishi cunt punted him.

"IT'S THE END!" Shouted Black Witch Rosa as her asshole summoned Cthulhu and began fighting Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter and Gordon Freeman at the top of lungs. Which caused Rika and the Pillsbury doughboy to combine into a long cat, which shat hundreds of Pillsbury Dough Rikas. But these Rikas which were delicious small bombs in disguise. Then Kinzo burst through the wall, screaming, "OH DESIRE!" Wiliest rubbing his nipples.

Then Beato decided to go to Babylon Gardens, where there was nothing to "ni-pah" about. Except for the fact that Bernkastel was fucking a corgi named King. Lambdadelta, heartbroken, responded by fucking two cats.

Erika, suddenly, was possessed by a doll and could not stop saying "desu". So Battler fucked her against a wall, doll joints and all. Bu Erika could only scream "DESU DESU DESU DESU!" as Hanyuu asked if anyone wanted to eat the tacos she just made.

Everyone replied "No!" Hanyuu, hurt, decided to leave with the Higurashi Cast Leaving the Umineko cast alone.

Battler then proceeded to continue fucking Erika, and making it a threesome with Beatrice. Beatrice, pleased, started sucking Erika's tits, while they shat shit from the nipples! After consumption, Beatrice then lifted up a cup to catch the shit. Suddenly Lambdadelta and Bernkastel appeared and started to beat the shit out to Battler and Beatrice out of ironic disgust, but stopped doing it.

Then suddenly, there were tits, and lots of them. However, these were not the kind of tits you would expect on George. Virgilia and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter came out of the closet they were fucking in, screaming, "DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!". Erika took the opportunity and shot up some heroin.

Keiichi, being the all around bat wielding badass that he is, tore a hole in the space-time continuum for shits and giggles. This resulted in the TARDIS to appear out of thin air. The door of the TARDIS opened, and out stepped The Master, who said "I'm hungry!"  
He then proceeded to rape Jessica on top of some "furniture". The Furniture, seeing this beautiful scene on-top of him, began to question his existence. "Why am I here, what am I really and what is this feeling in my pants?"

The furniture opened his pants and discovered Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter there, Battler responded by spreading Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter onto a piece of celery. But Beatrice said in red letters, "Battler, you can't spread a furry on a piece of celery, you dick!"

This caused Battler to not give a shit and use the power of science to eat the piece of celery and Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter.

Keiichi sprouted mechanical spider legs from his waist and his left eye turned into a laser, it was quickly absorbed into the ground, so K1 just slapped on an eye patch. He then molested The Master, after which his mechanical legs fell off and he was simply regular old Keiichi with no pants and an eye patch. This resulted in Battler to get pregnant, causing Virgilia to show off her giant sweater cows, which thereby made Maria ask Golden Sorcerer Peanut Butter, "How is baby formed?" While Hanyuu asked him, while munching on some cheese, "Happy cows come from Virgilia?"

Peanut Butter was about to answer, but Maria then proceeded to sacrifice the cows and eat their organs and they all lived happy forever.

The End. 


End file.
